I totally understand how lingering issues in a relationship make it ridiculously hard to want to have sex. Now its more about independence- Im tired of living in my spouses value system . My husband is 46 gringo! Please help. But I still feel that my wife is my one and only best friend and while I may be frustrated , I will always hold that more dear than anything else. Genuinely compliment your wife and make her feel sexy again. There is one category which never seems to be covered in these kind of forums, that is where one partner is both medically unadvisable to have sex. Its not all about sex its about intimacy, and that is missing. I read this article, and it sounds easy to find therapy/solutions. Couples counseling can help the two of you get back on track in your marriage and the bedroom. She NEVER asks but will tell me I can have it whenever I want. However this does not mean that sex should just cease and its quite difficult for one party in a marriage or long term relationship to just do without something like this because the other party has lost interest (or is depressed), or whatever. There are ways to maintain physical intimacy while someone undergoes treatment for ED. Do you feel my wife never initiates intimacy? While men often connect to their wives through physical intimacy, a wife needs a mix of physical arousal and emotional intimacy to feel connected to her partner. Ill keep this short, but I could write a short novel. Sorry. There are many causes, physical and emotional, why your wife wont have sex with you anymore. Senior Planet subscribers also get The Weekly Orbit, our newsletter with features about personal finance, health and fitness, technology tips, an online book club and more! Fix it. To see my wife go direct to the Phone on the first morning home and second morning home was very upsetting. I miss the sex, but I miss even more holding her in my arms snuggling with her just touching her maybe copping a feel she sexy. Whatever the case, do your best and work with your wife to restore that spark in your marriage. What played in husband mind is that the wife do not care, do not want to have relationship, intimacy etc. not someone to basically jerk off into. I spent 36 years with a man who I was never good enough for and now in a relationship with a man who loves me and is so kind. Soon thereafter, she lost interest altogether and would reject me, citing we would schedule a weekend session which never occurred. Ive been teaching this to other young men for some time. Thank you, Harry. Hormonal therapy can give you cancer, stroke. Finally someone is pointing out this is not a divided hate forum. Its the only wu to turn this round. Emotional connection is the starter and it is counterproductive if her man is resentful or walking around with head down and needy. When women feel used and men dont ever reciprocate, of course they lose interest. Married 23 years. Want to know why? The last time we tried, she complained of the pain even with lubrication. I love him more than the day we were married many many years ago. If your penis does not work, attempt to fix it. * LEARN WHY DEFINING THESE VARIABLES IS IMPORTANT: Women provide fertility, nurturing, and resourcefulness. We enjoy our company, share similar hobbies, have a lovely family and house, like to travell together, share chores ( I make a gourmet breakfast every Sunday) dont really have financial issues apart from the normal stress episodes, and above all we love each other dearly or at least we say it all the time! I was not going to reward her or fall into another hug with nothing more than a few seconds of holding, and then a push off. That's part of it, but in long-term relationships, sex is also the fastest route for a man to feel close and connected to his wife. It makes me sad, and we have talked it out and sadly there is just too much sadness and pain in our relationship for this situation to ever be resolved. Work and motherhood can be overwhelming, so instead of asking her for sex at the end of the day when youre both exhausted, start planning for it. It is very common for middle aged women to wind up being hypothyroid. i feel for you my spouse stopped being interested in sex 20 years ago at my age 51,for many years we had some extrem arguments and are still having them,,, to no avail what do you do. You need to leave her. I am also in a sexless relationship, same as others in our 50s Im in good shape and shes overweight, out of shape and depressed. No sex for about 20 years. This is hard, because of my upbringing and the fact she is a wonderful person in every other way. What to do about it: Address the ongoing conflicts in your relationship. Nothing arouses it. I appreciate the fact that my wife has stayed with. The comments given above is very true. I like the martyr thing, but its no B.S. It is time to say, I am horny as hell, and I am tired of pretending I am not because I am over 50!. We see each other on a daily basis staying busy to supplement our income and find time to make love once per week. She actually told me that my friend who went through a similar situation was in need of therapy because his wife caught him watching porn. What does it mean when your wife doesn't show affection? 7. . The question is, will we accept that fact, those facts, and act upon them in honorable fashion.? Of course, all this pressure makes it harder for sex to seem to go well.". I guess my story isnt as bad as many. interested in sex as they grow older but I find that to be true of men as well at least in the case of my husband! I know that there are reasons for everything, hell it could be my fault, but it is just so frustrating. I just dont understand. Yes Is so agree..No turning back!But Its now time replace her where she doesnt want to be part of.After 40 years 4kids 16 grands 5great Though I miss her warmth her ther body so much!Even after cancer twice majors surgerys reconstructions she still my one n only !N last one tooTime for me replace her affairs only way fishing..hunting ..camping ..some still with her!Rest myself alone ..others with son n grandsons while I still can getting around n driving! Honey I can assure you 100% hes not doing without sex hes at the prime age to have sex I couldnt tell you why he didnt wanna have sex with you but Im going through the same thing with my wife. You have no idea how ignorant your statement is. And LATINA. I so badly need a woman I love her to death, but Im sick of the constant rejection. See the New York Times story, Does a More Equal Marriage Equal Less Sex?. Holy Cow, I have about had it. I desire tenderness and affection, not just an orgasm. Of course mine wont go to a therapist no matter what so apparently the problem will persist. I read this with interest. The children I mention are my children from a prior marriage and I do 100% of everything for them without any help from her. I do not wish this upon anyone!!! Pretty graphic stuff. Learn how your comment data is processed. I had four children from a previous marriage, I had a tubal ligation reversal so we could have a child of our own, By serious good luck, we had one. Never did I roll over and fall asleep, and always tried to give her an orgasm until I had one. How can I let my wife know how sexy I find her? This was an enlightening comment and reflects what has been my marriage for 35 years. The situations here are not just issues for straight couples. I am NEVER ENOUGH so why even bother? Its one thing to have trouble with arousal, or other sexual difficulties. Women have all these excuses and fare enough many of them are legitimate but some of it is disconnecting. I refuse to live out my life not feeling special. Were in a lifetime partnership. Especially if you once had a, One reason your wife never initiates affection may be stress related. She told me that women need estrogen their whole lives, not just up to menopause. He wanted to break the monotony in the relationship, but she simply wouldnt open up. Due to bi-polar, I have had a strong sex drive since I can remember. If the husband happens to be insensitive, it ruins the relationship. If you think your wife avoids intimacy because of an underlying condition, its best to seek medical help at the earliest. I had a client recently who was so angry at her spouse, she said she didnt want to have any physical intimacy with her husband, If he wants to get divorced, let him get divorced, she said. He retired a decade ago against my wishes. She may well become that cat lady a previous poster described. He needs to get his hormone levels tested as he is mostly estrogen dominant and low test. You cant really blame her, can you? Married a little over 50 years! Its just torturing me for no reason. Been sleeping in separate beds since surgery. Nope. Its bad. about this, nothing will change. You may find that your perception of the situation is extremely different than theirs . She had here ovaries removed due to cancer risk, after sex was painful and pussy all dried up, tried lubes and no luck and still painful when my rock hard penis went in her sweet pussy. I had a feeling he was going to leave me in no time and he later did this was After 3 years of marriage, my husband left me and never returned. The inevitable distance between two people in love, the restless neediness of love. Find someone who finds you attractive, become more attractive, get in shape (thats key). I am going to be 42 years old!! She is a vegetarian and a purist in many ways, rejecting hormone therapy because of the published risks of breast cancer associated with hormone therapy, though small, my doctor stated. Each time she claims to like having sex, but is just tired! No way! In this new gynocentric west, the only answer is to find non-western women or women who were not raised in the west. There is nothing sexier than seeing your man crazy! She is just plain not sexually attracted to me. I have the same situation you describe, almost to a T. The only thing thats worse is that my husband is sneakily still interested in porn and satisfying himself when Im not around. I guess. The first step toward addressing this oft-tricky issue is to understand why your wife is acting distant and avoiding being intimate with you. A woman needs to hear that over and over again, or else she will think that you don't love her anymore (it's contrary to most men, who can be told a thing once and. Before I married my second wife, Vicky told me she made a terrible mistake, still loves me and wanted back. Shes my childhood sweetheart, has a lovely personality, a wonderful mother and a very sexy body and persona to boot.. We are peas in a pod. But, and hopefully it is, if you still connect at that level in any way, please do so. Im considering leaving altogether and realize it will put a financial strain on both of us although we have significant cash equity in our home which can make it much easier in retirement. Hopefully I will die and be out of this misery. BIG ZERO, NADA FOR 18 MONTHS NOW! When we DO have intimacy, it usually comprises me masturbating until she finishes me with her mouth (which she still likes to do) and her using one of those power vibrators that sound like a jackhammer to get herself off. Women want to be swept off their feet. We received a relationship query from a man who wanted to spice things up with his wife of 29 years, but was struggling to make headway because of the spouses inhibitions. a great career in media..She seems to have lost interest in ME. The best thing to do when y our partner doesn't want to be intimate is to ask them about it, point blank. An endocrinologist told me he had never seen that before. Youre saying I love her, etc etc and she couldnt care less? Be gentle and calm when you bring it up. Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. She does not like to give blow jobs or hand jobs, so I have to do it myself, jerking off and imagining sex with anyone. At least the replies here seem to reflect this, noting that the opposite can and does happen. Could it be that your wife avoids intimacy and shuns the idea of making love? Id say he has some other issues. I also went down on her regularly, and now she doesnt even want me to try. The man must rule by demanding to get what he wants. After menopause she lost interest in sex because of vaginal atrophy. It is not fair that I have to take care of it by myself! Does your wife feel seen and heard in the relationship, or is she never in the mood because she usually feels overlooked? But I noticed the past 3 years she has seldom initiated intimate relations, and I attribute that to she likes to use her ipad and play puzzle / word/ and brain teaser games and does surf her FB some. My biggest problem is that my wife is very, very against porn and at my age I cannot attempt to relieve my tension without it as a point of focus. Keep it as quick as I can at 41 I had neck surgery, nothing below waist working very well, had penis pump install, went from 6 to 3 (maybe) tip flops around cant penetrate vagina.she at time started Menopause and wasnt really interested anyway. Then theres the masturbation/porn thing. So its a trope that the man is always the one with the higher desire and the one left frustrated.
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